This week I want to discuss a topic that all of us mommas are far too familiar with – yes, I’m talking about mom guilt. I have personally been struggling with mom guilt more lately since finding out about my second pregnancy. I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough for my one year old or the growing baby in my belly – like the more I try the worse I do as a mom. Last week, I actually found myself ugly sobbing to my husband over how guilty I felt for eating a Chick-Fil-A sandwich because I had given the baby this unhealthy food. As a rational and logical person, I know these small moments of weakness – whether it be splurging on an unhealthy food, losing your patience with your toddler, having to work longer than you’d like a few days in a row, or any other spark of guilt – are not going to change my children’s development or our love for each other. But in the moment, that darn mom guilt can eat away at you.
Let’s rewind a bit to after my son was born almost a year and a half ago. After I returned to work after 12 weeks, that mom guilt set in HARD. It worked its way into my brain and my heart, and it gnawed away at me day and night. I felt guilty for being away from my baby. I felt guilty for not being able to keep up with his nutritional needs from breastfeeding and pumping alone. I felt guilty that I wasn’t at my best every moment I spent with him. I felt guilty for being tired. I felt guilty for being in pain. I felt guilty.
As I tried to cope with this intense guilt, I let myself and my own needs slip away. Months later, I was still in constant pain from a difficult delivery that was interfering with my life. I couldn’t get back to the exercise I wanted due to the pelvic pain and pressure. I had little endurance which affected my ability to play with my growing and moving boy. And I was losing too much weight and constantly getting sick. My post-partum symptoms were consistently interfering with my life, but I felt too guilty to go get help.
Finally 8 months after my son was born, I took the plunge to start pelvic floor physical therapy and let me tell you, IT CHANGED MY LIFE. I felt extremely guilty at first because I was putting myself and my own needs before my son’s for that one hour of the day. But I soon realized that the better I felt, the more I could be present with him. This experience sparked a passion in me to help other moms through these stages of difficult transition and to allow other moms to feel like themselves again.
I share my own experience with you all today for few reasons. First off, I want you to know if you are struggling with crippling mom guilt, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I see you. I acknowledge you. And I know if you are feeling this way, it probably means you are a fantastic mom who’s doing the best she can for her kids every single day. Secondly, I want you to know that making your health and wellness a priority is nothing to feel guilty about. You can’t take care of your baby the way he/she deserves if you aren’t healthy – physically and mentally. And finally, there is no shame in getting help. Moms are truly amazing and just because we can do it all doesn’t mean we should have to do it all alone. If you feel like this topic resonated with you, stay tuned for the next few weeks as we talk about how physical therapy can help you from the first trimester through the post-partum transition. And if you are ready to take the plunge, set aside that mom guilt and call Life Changes Physical Therapy today. Let me be your guide through this pregnancy and post-partum journey whether your goals are preventative, maintenance, or recovery.