Wow, it’s already been 3 months with my little twins! Thank you all who have been so patient with me as I adjust to being a twin mom and a mom of 4 kids 4 and under (🫣). I can honestly say that this experience so far has only made me love motherhood more, and in honor of making it this far, I am sharing my take-aways from twin motherhood so far and first up is childbirth.
The twins’ birth was not what I was planning nor expecting as I had both a vaginal and c-section delivery, but it was absolutely a learning experience. So here are 3 lessons I learned from my twin birth…
Pelvic Floor Relaxation Works
I chose to have an elective induction at 37 weeks. For my family, this just seemed to be the best choice since we don’t have family in town to watch our other 2 children. Honestly, when we planned it I didn’t think there was any way my body would ever even make it that far. Cooper (my twin A) was head down from early on which meant green lights all around for a vaginal birth. I chose to get an epidural relatively early after spending the first couple hours on the birthing ball. I had already decided to get one and felt it would help me to focus on my pelvic floor relaxation and positioning with the help of my nurse team. As I laid in different positions in my hospital bed with the use of the peanut ball, I focused on diaphragmatic breathing – lengthening through the abdomen and pelvic floor on my inhales and fully relaxing on my exhales. I allowed myself to be guided by a hypo-birthing meditation. Only a couple hours after I had received my epidural, I called the nurse in because I was starting to feel some pressure. Before she could even wash her hands and glove up, we heard crying under the bed sheets. Cooper made his entrance all on his own at 2:12pm – happy and healthy at only 8 cm dilated. Now I am fully aware that pelvic floor relaxation was not the only helpful factor in the ease of his delivery into the world, but do I think it helped – absolutely yes! Stress, fear, being yelled at to push can all contribute to a tightened pelvic floor which makes it hard for baby to descend and hard to push against a contracted pelvic floor so I will continue to promote pelvic floor relaxation as one of the top ways to prepare for delivery!
C-Sections Are NOT The “Easy Way Out”
To be fair, I have always known this but now I can say first hand that I have experienced both and know for a fact that cesarean birth is in no way, shape, or form “easy”. After Twin A’s unexpectedly rapid arrival, our plans had to adapt. Finley (my Twin B) had been transverse presenting all throughout pregnancy so the plan was to quickly turn her following Twin A’s delivery or deliver her in the intact bag of water if she was not able to be turned. Unfortunately while the entire floor was processing the rapid entrance of Twin A, Twin B’s water broke with her stork breech presentation and after a risk/benefit discussion, we came to the conclusion that c-section would be the safest option. We were rushed to the OR where – after a strong boost of the epidural – Twin B entered the world. We were absolutely ecstatic to have two healthy babies – neither of which needed any NICU time – but I knew I had a road to recovery ahead. See, I know the c-section is a major abdominal surgery – one that disrupts 7 layers of abdominal tissues and contents – many of which are essential for lifting, carrying, holding, rocking two newborn babies. So c-section mamas, my kudos to you all – never let anyone try to convince you that you took the “easy way out”.
Being Surrounded By a Team Who You Trust Makes All The Difference
Now obviously I was not hoping to come out of my twin birth having to recover from not only a vaginal delivery but a c-section delivery as well, but let me explain to you why it hasn’t been nearly as tough as I would have thought. My first son’s birth was extremely traumatic for me. Nothing happened that truly put our health or safety in danger, but it was scary – I felt completely out of control. I had a team of doctors and nurses that I barely knew, let alone trust. They did not ever consult me, they did not communicate with me, and they definitely did not make me feel like an active participant in the birth process. After working through the physical and emotional scars of that experience, I made sure to take a different approach to my other children’s births. Prior to my twins’ births, I found an OB that listened to me, got to know me, understood my desires, supported my goals, and consulted with me each step of the way as an active participant in the care of myself and my babies. Because of the trust I built with this provider, I knew she would do everything in her power to give me the birth experience I wanted and even more, I felt confident in her decision when plans had to change. She continued to consult with me throughout the entire process and allowed me to have an active voice in my care. Without this trusting relationship, this birth experience surely would have rattled me mentally, but because of it, I am able to look back on the twins’ births as a wild and crazy story. I am able to reminisce with pride in my body and my accomplishments rather than filled with “what ifs”. Research shows that long-lasting birth trauma is highly correlated to how respected and in-control a woman feels during childbirth so make sure you work hard to surround yourself with a team you trust.
My twin birth was an experience I will definitely never forget, and each day of twin motherhood brings more growth and lessons to be shared. So stay tuned for my lessons learned on twin birth recovery, twin motherhood, twin breastfeeding, and more!
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